As Roy said: "I feel delicate." I don't even know why, I could tear up at the next best occasion or curl into a ball and wrap myself in warm blankets. I actually want to do that most days, now that I think about it. Hmmm. Winter depression? I hardly think so. It's not your usual "All is dark and shitty, I want to die"-despair, more like a subliminal urge to hug and feel cozy and cared for?

Aside from that, I just noticed again how much I really really love the early medieval period and how badly I must go to Oslo for this really awesome master's program. Arghlaldhdbssfff. But where to take the money frommmmmmaaaaach ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

Seriously though, why is it, that there is no one I can fangirl with over Vikings, Anglo-Saxons, Thor, Loki and all that kind of shit in a really super nerdy way? Where are all the history buffs hiding?? :T My fellow students aren't much of an option to turn to. It's like talking against a wall with them ;_;

What's worse though, is how bad I got with drawing. I really got rusty, but that's not the bad part. There is simply no need or desire to do it; of course, I doodle when talking on the phone or during our Werewolf-sessions, it helps me concentrate, but actually drawing? Not so much. I have ideas and images in my head, but lack everything else. The hell is happening?

So in conclusion: Fuck you life, why do you always keep the really good things just out of my reach? >:C

First things first: Crying Erik.

Crying Erik.



What else there was:
Asshole!Charles butting in in people's mind and memories without asking. Btw, I know your pain, horrible what you experienced. But you gotta stay, yeah, Imma gonna make you cuz I just saved your ass. We BBF from now on, RIGHT?
Chubby teen Mystique with no abilities except talking shit and looking for looooove.
Only black guy who is actually also the only interesting character: killed off. Thank you. NOT.
Villain with no real motives, hello Kevin Bacon, and a stupid helmet that likens his nose to that of a pig. I ain't f'king kidding.
That woman with tits and blond hair.
This other woman with tits but no mutation.
Also Mystique showing tits. Did I mention she popped out of nowhere, the hell did she come from?? Didn't Charles' parents have anything to say on the matter of her staying?
Ron Weasley as flying Mothman.
Havoc who?
WTF Soviet Russia bombs YOU.
That guy who controlled... tornadoes, but couldn't apparently talk. He was just there.
Also russian Niet!Azazel, uuuh. Say "niet" again!
Erik and his coin. Crying. Multiple times. Omg, that scene with his mom and the menorah, so special, so touching.
Background music, IT NEVER STOPPED ARGH
Charles reaching for his temple with two fingers is going to be a secret code of idiocy from now on. Or maybe not so secret. Concentrate HARDER. Or yell, depends. Maybe Erik will hear you somehow despite the helmet, uh huh.
Fireflygirl has no reason to join or not to join one side or the other. She's just there and looks shitty.
Erik crying. One more time, c'mon.

I kinda expected Emma Frost to get out the dildo when he said Charles had left a hole in him and he hoped Emma could fill it. That was like... the only time I laughed at the most inappropriate moment (usually I was forcing my mouth shut with my hand or just shaking my head). Alright, ok, when Erik mentioned it was ok for Moriah to come closer while Charles lay in his lap, CRYING, that was pretty funny too.

All in all, Charles and Erik were pretty gay (have been for the entire movie for no apparent reason. SOOOO TIGHT) Maybe it must have been all those deep intense and honest conversations over their two chess games or what have you. T_T It is obvious that the movie was meant to be about Magneto's origins, for all the revenge-hunt down-kill storyline. But it was for nought, since there were simply too many characters, probably to lure more viewers to the theatre. Idk. XMen First Class could have been so much more than it actually was. I srsly missed the depth. The actors were never given the chance to really show their talent with the crappy script. Even a teenager could have written better dialogues.

The thing I will do now is pretend X-Men: First Class never happened. Like X3 never happened. It's all a bad dream, lalala.

At least I still have you, Thor-movie. You are one pretty, shiny movie with Shakespearean ambitions, upholding the ideal of 'showing not telling' and trying to find sense in your character's doings. And your actors are adorkable. Yeahhhhh.



This is all I need ♥

I don't know how to incorporate audio files so here's the original source, listen to this!!

{Edit: In case this wasn't clear enough, this is me fangirling. About Hetalia. OBVIOUSLY.}

I started reading Tacitus' Germania, and figured that quite a lot of social structures have not changed that much (granted, Tacitus does not delve as deep as he could have - but the few limited views he grants us, I find quite telling). They coincide with Viking social structure quite nicely. Does not sound that amazing (yet), but if you consider most sources on Viking society were written during the high middle ages... that's a gap of about 1000 odd years. Has so little changed? Or rather, are the fundamental powers still intact because of the things which have NOT changed (landscape, climate, foes)? Plus, isn't the sheer preservation in the face of Christianity just astonishing! Regardless, using what we know of Viking homosexuality and its hazards to back us up, Tacitus' record on punishment suddenly gains another level of meaning - So lets recapture, and then assume...

[Licet apud concilium accusare quoque et discrimen capitis intendere. distinctio poenarum ex delicto: proditores et transfugas arboribus suspendunt, ignavos et imbelles et corpore infames caeno ac palude, iniecta insuper crate, mergunt. Diversitas supplicii illuc respicit, tamquam scelera ostendi oporteat, dum puniuntur, flagitia abscondi.] In their councils an accusation may be preferred or a capital crime prosecuted. Penalties are distinguished according to the offense. Traitors and deserters are hanged on trees; the coward, the unwarlike, the man stained with abominable vices, is plunged into the mire of the morass, with a hurdle put over him. This distinction in punishment means that crime, they think, ought, in being punished, to be exposed, while infamy ought to be buried out of sight.                                                                                                                      - Germania, Ch. XII

I am merely speculating, of course. Considering virðing/drengskapr (similar to lat. virtus) as the forever unachievable ideal/social system, its origin and power it undeniably had over Vikings, the punishment for cowards does not seem so out of place anymore. The opposite of honor is shame, and what shames a man more if not meeting the ideal - an ideal, that is the ultimate goal of each individual. If a man is less than what he is supposed to be - what is he, then? Something different, the opposite. He must, by default, thus be female (or an animal.) Now, I won't open that Pandora's box today of how women were viewed - mostly because Tacitus' record of that differs a little from later Viking society's standard - and skip right into the actual argument instead:

Perversity, "the man stained with abominable vices", is regarded as severe as cowardice. How do these two coincide? Taking into account that only the receiving partner in a homosexual encounter had to suffer the full penalty of his sordid (or should I say sorðinn? Hurhurhur) act while the active partner is undoubtedly the victor, homosexuality was first and foremost a demonstration of dominance.It was a practice used against enemies and competitors as means of establishing a position within society. There was nothing shameful in using a man like a woman, but certainly in being used, in submitting and becoming less than a man. Simply the accusation of being a coward and thus unmanly, was so utterly shameful, a discredit disrupting not only to the man's equilibrium (helgi), but his kin's, that the Icelandic and Norwegian laws demanded the death (or exile) of the accuser, if it was unfounded.

Due to Tacitus' accumulation, we can easily make the connection between the coward, the unmanly and the sexual deviant. They all denote the same kind of person. It is obvious, then, why they would all be doomed to the same fate as well. Unlike traitors and deserters, whose crime it were to nourish different morals and not a fundamental flaw in their nature. One could even assume, that hanging traitors up on trees for all to see, the meaning becomes "Don't do it", as opposed to the unmistakable message of "Don't be it" when it comes to the second group of offenders.

I am not sure whether anyone has compared Tacitus' account of Germanic life/costume etc with the much later age of the Vikings, but I am sure, I wasn't the first one to follow that train of thought.  Aaaaanyways. What's more important right now... OMG I CAN HAZ?

Went to the pub today for the pub quiz. Was awesome. We didn't make it, only the 6th place (out of nine?) but what the hell. I could only contribute with two things: the names of three sexologists (Kinsey, Hirschfeld & Westheimer) and Kitty Genovese. GUESS WHY.
I even drank a glass of beer (Strongbow) and a shot glass filled with ... something... fruity tasting. Nice. Afterwards we scribbled animals with our eyes closed - ah the hilarity.

But that wasn't what I was going to say. I found the DB Kinkmeme.
Someone requested:

>>>GINYU FORCE ORGY

Nuuuuuuuuuuu. The mental image whyyyyyyyyyyyyy aaarhgjhdjhskdl.

I can't believe my first entry in months is about THIS, but I just have to get it off my chest some more, because otherwise I am srsly going to explode.

---

Saturday (when all the supermarkets are still open, UNLIKE SUNDAYS)
Me: *buys everything for a tuna sandwich*
Dad: You don't need to buy any tuna, we have two cans *over phone*
Me: Uh, ok.... are you sure?
Dad: Yes, positive!
Later-
Mom: I left half of the tuna in the can, you can do your sandwich when you are hungry.
Me: Okies.
Dad: Oh noes, it will smell in the fridge. Let me help. *nomnom all of it*
Me: ... hm. I have a bad feeling about this...

SUNDAY (no gas station for miles and all supermarkets are closed)
Me: Lalala, I am hungry *_* I am going to make my super awesome tuna sandwich. Onions, toast, remoulade, lettuce... where's the tuna? ... wh-where is the second can? Hello, tuna T_T Oh no.

-20 minutes of silently crying inside later.-

Me: HELLO PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE YOU FUCKING MORON WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP YOUR MOBILE SO I CAN CARPET YOU FOR THE MISSING TUNA PROPERLY DAMNIIIIIT.... do I have to call Aunt Evi? Do I?
Aunt: He--hello? Who's there?
Me: Hiiii, happy birthday, auntie. Is my mother there?
Aunt: Why thank you, you are so sweet. Yes, surely. Do you want to speak to her?
Me: .... yes.
Mom: Uh?
Me: WHY DONT YOU PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE HOLY SHIT THERE IS NO CAN IS THERE A SECOND TUNA CAN OR NOT?
Dad from the off: In the cupboard, 's a round can.
Me: Well... there is a round can. With turkey meat in it. Oh, and sardines. Hering, too. And Nutella and honey. Gee, I don't see it. I WONDER WHY I DON'T SEE IT.
Dad: Then there's no other can.
Me: Why, thank you for that insight, Cpt Obvious. What am I supposed to do now? Hum?
Dad: Eat sardines.
Me: I hate them.
Dad: Well, then suck on your thumb. I don't care.
Me: This always, ALWAYS, happens. There has NEVER been a second can of ANYTHING. GOD. *hangs up*

I am so angry, I evolved into Hulk. No shit.
There is still no tuna, btw. I threw the food away, will take the toast and lettuce with me to the little get together tonight and then they can see how they will be able to make their OWN sandwich. I surely don't want any for the next millenia. HOLY SHIT I CAN'T KEEP IT INSIDE, THIS ANGER *needs management*

He srsly needs his eyes checked, tho. He constantly sees things that are not there or buys the wrong things etc. Also, he never apologises, never sees the fault by him, instead the things you get to hear are "Deal with it." I am never going to trust his judgement, ever again. FOR IT SURELY WASN'T THE FIRST AND WITH 150% CERTAINCY NOT THE LAST TIME THIS HAPPENS


---

[edit]
2 hrs later, I feel kinda silly for this. Hm.

Mother for your derelicted
Children from your womb evicted
Grant us shelter, harbor, solace, safety
Let us in!
Let us tell you where we travelled
How our hopes, our lives unravelled
How unwelcome everywhere we've been.


I've started reading books again, like I used to when I was a teenager. Fanfictions are not cutting it anymore (but I still browse the Rorschach Kinkmeme now and then, of course ♥) and nothing better than a new, unread book in your hands. It's such a wonderful feeling to turn a page p: I cannot NOT read. Of course, none of these books are Uni-related. HAHAHA... orz

I was in a pissy mood all day, oh man. Even taking a bath in the evening didn't quench these feelings (especially after learned that I will have to go over some of the illustrations again, correcting stuff... I mean, that's only natural. That's my job, and I get paid for it but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I want it to be over so bad aaah *strampel*) And since I am at my parents', I neither can play PS or computer since all my games are in Leipzig, ja danke. :C

                                                                                                                                        - Wikipedia



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I can't even point out what's more lulz-worthy. That whole entry is just one big uncredited rumble, tho the "not this Eadgils, but this Eadgils"-part is certainly a candidate. Oh Wikipedia. You never cease to amaze me.