Met up with Dani, Christian and Nadia at 9pm to play pool in a billard bar near Weinmeisterstraße. Very enjoyable, though the spirits did a nose dive after a while. We ordered pizza which was kind of OK (had to fend off the bar's dog from our food, devious critter), and after two games we left to have a drink or two at Cafe Cinema. Just got home now.
What I actually wanted to say, is this:
Nadia had bought a pair of shoes quite a while ago from a second hand shop. Lovely, fancy things, white and delicate that do not fit her. So I was to have them to wear and flounce around in them. Gosh, they are beautiful.
Now, I finally seized the chance to wear them and... by the time I reached the bar, I was walking barefoot. Have been the whole night since then - never noticed before how clean Berlin's streets actually are. Hardly any glass shards or other kinds of litter. My feet were black by the time I came home, naturally, but not hurting from anything else but the shoes I had worn earlier. I know now why this gorgeous pair was resold. You cannot possibly wear them without abrasions and blisters on the heels and pressure marks along the toes. Satan must have fashioned them himself, no kidding.
I think we will sell them as well. Someone else be subjected to the pain, for despite all temptations, the ache cannot be possibly endured. Not on the long run, no matter how pretty they are.
A few happier notes: I bought Hitman- Blood Money for PS2 finally. Also started reading Going Postal by Pratchett, god, I love that man. And last but not least - I made fantastic Wok-food today: beef, spring onions, sesame oil, soy sauce, orange + orange juice, honey = YUMYUMYUM. Successful Saturday, Y/Y?
It's almost a week since my internship ended. I meant to write a mean spirited, judging post full of vitriol about the work and my so called colleagues at the end of January. To get even, in a way. But now that it's over and done, there's nothing left but relief and a tiny sense of sadness. :/ Strange, huh? I don't really feel like writing about the internship anymore, because the tight, hot knot in my stomach vanished the day it was over. And left a blank space instead. I guess it's what happens to most people who work 7 days a week and finally, unexpectedly, are confronted with so called free time. It takes the wind out of your sails.
I gotta admit, I feel a bit lost. I know I got to find some new means of income, and I'm working on it (the chance came flying in just one day after my internship). It's just still so strange not to have to get up at 3:20am, or watch the news, talk to people on the phone. I still got the professional autopilot going when I phone someone. That's nice, I guess, because it lends you confidence, a mask to hide behind. But I am not sure if I always want to introduce myself with my "internship-voice".
Despite the new freedom I still don't go out, still don't meet the friends I promised myself to meet. Because I never really find the opportunity (I know it's been only a few days, 3 to be exact, that I didn't have to work - where I chose to finally go to Ikea and buy the missing furniture for my room instead of... everything else). I hope it will change the next few weeks. :/ I really miss being socially available.
Aaah, but it's still nice not to have to leave the house for 4 days out of 7. All I need to do now is to change my working hours at the JMB from Fr/Sa/Su to something more humane. Oh, and hope for being accepted at the University, of course.
All in all, I feel much more relaxed while still being stressed out. FOR WHAT EVER REASON. There's still so much to do, I don't know where to start, aaaaaah.
I srsly need a paid account again. I miss my icons :C
It's been so long, I cannot even remember how to start an lj entry. Lots of things happened, a lot of them didn't. But let us just talk about the happy things that DID happen. Funnily enough, happy isn't something I'd applied to the situations at hand right now. A few months ago, I would have been delighted by the prospect, but experiencing reality as a as-is state and not "what might be" tends to have that disillusioning effect.
I got my editorial internship at a local radio here in Berlin. With the end of this week, I'll have worked 3 weeks of the morning shift in one row starting at 4:30am each day, ending at 12:30 pm. I'll be so so glad to get the afternoon shift after that again, I am extremely exhausted. Always tired, always sleepy, never getting anything done. It frustrates me to an incredible extent, where I start to display a violent temper at the slightest occasion. It's ridiculous, really. Should I get counseling?
The internship is anything you can think of: Boring, frustrating, stressful, informative, educating, too early, too late, confusing, infuriating, long winded... I went through fundamental feelings towards my internship over the weeks, differing so profoundly each day it astounds even me. The beginning started off rather promising, but the excitement quickly waned, giving birth to bouts of frustration and readjustment of expectations. Working 8hrs a day without payment can get to you really quickly. Let me tell you this: One months done, two more to go. Thank goodness. I could need some serious sleep here. (The fault lies with me, however. I never manage to go to bed early enough.)
The work at the Jewish Museum is the complete opposite so far. Strangely enough. It's so relaxing and entertaining and fun, even if at parts it can get lonely and boring. Boring is good, I say. It's the kind of boring I can need right now (should it ever get too
dull, I have a lot of Jewish history to catch up on). Besides, we get employee discount at the Liebermann's restaurant. Hummus with pita and olives, omnomnom. Cheap, delicious food is always a plus in my book. (There's a Channuka market at the Jewish Museum, too OoOOH) Earning your share of the rent is a great, wonderful feeling, and the last two months healed me from being a lazy bum, turning me into a wonderful busy butterfly. I don't want to sit around any longer, I refuse to remain useless, I refuse to be a parasite any longer. There is no time like now, and I am done wasting my life like this. I have not reached all my goals yet, which is good. Great, even. Without goals, there is no reason to carry on, now is there? Well, except to nourish one's hedonistic tendencies. Which I fully intend to do, when (if!) I find the time, ohoho.
And who knows, next year I might actually have saved enough money to travel to Israel and see the one true wonder of the medieval world, the place so many yearned to see, but never reached. Ah, I cannot wait. It's going to be amazing, exceptional, and touching to see Jerusalem for myself *_* Eeeh.
This aside, here's the good news: We moved. Oh yeaaah. We still need to furniture the flat, but most things are set, more or less. Looks still pretty chaotic, haha. As it wont to be. Unfortunately, my broken heater disrupts the joy of having my own place. I wished my landlady would fix it asap ;-; It's starting to get nasty outside and I'd hate to freeze to death.
So here are the things I want to get done the next year/in the near future:
• Sign up for the medieval studies master's program.
• Buy a car.
• Go on a loooong vacation in Israel ♥
Baby steps, haha. I don't want to fall on my face too quickly. C: It's sort of true, then, isn't it? The more you mature, the more things you suddenly have to organize, manage super important issues like HEALTH INSURANCE WHAT, get the laundry done, earn the rent. Kind of scary, and I am keeping a To-Do list or else I'd forget at least half of it. The worst part, tho, is, that nobody got a bullet proof plan how to get shit done successfully (but then, isn't that part of the adventure?). I guess Peter Pan won't come to my window from now on :C
I spent so much money on Comic Salon Erlangen this weekend. Oh god. But it was well worth it (Leyendecker artbook, Ian McCaig artbook ♥♥, Batman B/W Collection Vol 1, Eagles of Rome II, first Issue of X-Men: Magneto and Rai bought "Hall of Fame 16", consisting of a few selected Don Rosa comics.) I also got a paper fan with V's face on it. Very classy. I kept running around with it in front of my own face, declaring myself Anon.
In addition, I had a few artists draw sketches into the con-book. (Gilles Mezzomo, Nic Klein, Guido Neukamm, Thierry Gloris&Benoît Dellac, Davide Gianfelice, Patrice Pellerin. Simon Eckert drew me a fantastic viking, still so happy about that one), which was super rad.
I wanted a full sketch by Gianfelice, but no chance. I was lucky enough to get his autograph and a 30sec sketch. Without a number it was almost pointless to try. BUT STILL. ♥_♥
There were so many great artists whose book-signing I missed out on, tho (that or failed to get a number :C) but all in all, it were three great days, if somewhat stressful. A pleasant break from the horrible work that is F&F. Once when we returned on Sunday, it was like we never left in the first place, however. Work work work. :/ I feel like such a failure because of this. So many things I don't know or cannot simply do. What's the point of drawing? A question I've been asking myself lately.
Also, I keep thinking of F&F furry porn. That ain't funny. D: God. What's wrong with me? Must be the heat (and Rai's sexy drawings for the new issue in a more steam-punk-ish style). Here, to banish these horrible images:
Speaking of Watchmen, I saw a Dr Manhattan in Erlangen. Oh my, but he was gorgeous. Asya took a picture of him and I, but IDK if I will ever see it xD ah well.
The air smells so sweet and warm these days, like summer. So very intense and startling. It has become warmer too, I have almost forgotten what the sun feels like on bare skin. I bought a dress at H&M for the occasion, since everything I owned at the time during Erlangen were black jeans and a few woolen black shirts... not very practical at 25°C.
Aaaand that's essentially it.
- :auch mal pro-amerika sein, haha! wait...what?, orly?, save me barry!, srsly you guys, that's what she said, the droids you've been looking for, this is the life, und sonst so?, we call... the watchmen!, what would rorschach do?
- Music:Cat Stevens - "Cat's in the cradle"
New PC arrived today. One of those fancy upgrade ones, ordered it without a hard drive. I got two to spare and this way it's much cheaper. But that bloody thing won't work and now I am left wondering why (understatement of the year). Help desk is no use either, because it's ''Weekend''
. WHERE ARE ROY AND MOSS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?
Listening to Watchmen Soundtrack, it makes me happee ♥ Going to take a bath in a few hours until then I need to finish some work here. I wasted a whole afternoon accomplishing nothing. Strangely enough, this is a recurrent occasion. Should I be worried?
I tried to think of something clever to accompany this .gif but nothing was coming forth. So whatever.
I can't believe the books by Ruth Mazo Karras are all borrowed. I'll probably have to buy them, now. Hrm. That aside, I think I broke a rib or two, but at least a vortex when carrying all the books from the library back home. Good thing I'm getting MTs now to resurrect my backmuscles. Snap, there goes the trigger point, heh :9( More rumbling )( Also some music I've been listening to err... )